i feel so bloody olddd!!! farkkk. no more delusions of being 21 and enjoying under 21 perks and discounts haha. still have student price though...until end of next sem. farkk. too much work to do. 3 weeks of school left. tons of work undone. wait. barely even started on the damn projects. oh gawd. december hols. i will st

Sigh.
Overloaded with work. 2 essays, 2 presentations all due next wed and thu.
This semester is the worst yet. First sem of honours year is crap. Taking modules which i dont like and have no choice because those were the best ones offered or i couldnt get others or whatever circumstances, had me whining about how i wanted to change my major to no avail because it's too late.
So here i am floundering away during the mid sem break experiencing feelings of extreme incompetence and stupidity at the way i am barely surviving through my modules. Maybe i dislike them so much that my mind somehow refuses to understand these concept or else i simply just have no motivation to study.
Cannot focus. This much is definitely due to other things. Things which continue to irk me and drive me insane whenever something new pops out on facebook. Just thinking about it makes me want to hurl. Or kill something. Or do something drastic. Argh.
Cannot help it. Just keeps getting worse. Till now i still ask how the hell could things have changed so much in so short a while without even some huge obstacle in the way?! Torturous.

It's back. Well it never actually went away. I just don't know what to do about it.
So many things to do when term starts again.
I don't want to forget or let it go. Because if i do, it feels like cheapening the whole experience. Like it never happened or it was all just a joke. I don't want it to be gone just like that. But it's waning for the other at least. Eff it.

Moody and angsty.
School starting, loads of problems to settle.
Got myself into a new writing stint which im afraid i cant cope. Shittty.
Now i'm off to read my h/d.
Have to sleep early and go work tomorrow though. URGH. 4 more weeks!!!!

So it's time for the usual 3 months break before embarking on year 4.
But is it truly liberation when i'm still trapped in my own self constructed web of misery? Far from it.
Sometimes i wonder is it really worth it to do honours when you can save on 1 year of school fees and graduate and find a job. But it's the thought of going out into the working masses that scares the shit out of me. Working life sucks. Competition and politics ten times magnified because this is the real shit man. It's not school anymore. And after 15 years of education right up till uni, you're still far from prepared from what's out there.
I entertain the far fetched notion of doing a masters in a subject i like. History. I sort of regret taking NM because we don't learn the shit that i thought we were supposed to. Like media studies kinda thing. Effect of media on society sorta thing. I'd probably only learn that if i went overseas. Instead, i'm learning things i do not like such as fusing technology with philosophy. Enough with that fucked up module. Granted, there were some useful things like advertising and the writing mods but those aren't enough. It's only the very basic and i thought uni would at least teach you more in depth. I should have done history. More enjoyable and the history profs are way cooler than the NM ones. They are the real academics.

I don't think i would want to study anymore. This semester proved just as much. Completely no motivation at all to study. Results on 29 May will show it. I don't want to know them.
Enough with school. So what, you get an education, you graduate with a degree, you're off to find a job. And you're thrust into the world, floundering, struggling to find your footing, something to ground you.

It's bad enough as it is. I think it's even worse when you're alone.
Alone like now with only my thoughts for company, spiraling out of control with the passing of each minute.
I doubt i can be really happy again like i was when i entered jc. I've forgotten how to. Innocent no longer.

It's not like i don't want to open up and be more receptive to other people as my friend suggests. I would love for a new change so i can get over the old.
Ok so i still cannot get over the old shit but if something new does come along, and there is a possibility of it taking off, i would so board that and take off. It would help a lot in lifting me out of this quagmire. But there isn't any.
Im fed up.
Till next time. Off to watch Angels & Demons.

Two more papers left.
I seriously hate NM3225. Driest worst module EVER.
Technology and Philosophy should not be mixed. EVER! It's just a bunch of idiots who have nothing else better to do and try to create links for random shit and end up resulting in some rubbish which completely makes no sense! COME ON.
Philosophy is age-old, classic, thought. Technology is new shite and completely on the opposite end of the spectrum!
Wtf.
It's like mixing science and the arts. Well you just cannot mix these things! It's practically BLASPHEMOUS!!! Urgh.

I am going spare doing my readings. Philosophy is Philosophy. Technology is technology. You can study it as part of sociology, anthropology - how humans make use of technology, or the impact of new technologies on society.
You cannot apply things like Existentialism to it!!! What the hell???!!!

I have found the best oil control powder ever!
It's Silk Natural's Oil Control Blur Finishing Powder! Check it out at http://www.silknaturals.com/creb/product_info.php?cPath=66_100&products_id=598

With this on, my face can stay oil free for up to 5 plus hours! Even then, it's only slightly oily! I put this on in the morning and by afternoon, my face is still oil free! Woots! I am so lovin this and will so buy more of it heehee.
Use it with their Oil Control Primer and stay oil free for an even longer time!
*loves*

Edited on 11 May 2009 ....
I thought the Silk Natural's powder was the best oil control one until I found Coastal Scent's Veil Effect Mineral Powder!
http://www.coastalscents.com/cfwebstore/index.cfm?fuseaction=category.display&category_id=53

This has better control than even the Silk Natural's one! Absolutely great I love it!!! Managed to keep my face oil free for about 7 plus hours!
This is one that I will definitely keep using! Until I find a better one but this one really is quite good.
Won't buy the Silk Natural's one anymore! Haha.

and loads more clothes!
MAC, Clinique, Skinfood and BB creams for sale too! (scroll all the way down!)
NO TRADES! NEED CASH! THANKS!
All dresses going for $17.00 mailed!
All tops going for $7.00 mailed!

For items that indicate "price is fixed", the item will be sold at the fixed price.
ENJOY! =)

( more pretty dresses and tops! )Item: Toc Toc Whitening & Wrinkle Repair BB cream (SPF30)
Price: $10.00mailed (retailed at Sasa for $25.90!)
Condition: 90% left. Definitely more than worth the $!
A skin caring moisturizer with UVA/UVB protection, this lightweight cream contains arbutin and adenosine to lighten pigmentation, plump up wrinkles and fine lines, calm and soothe redness and inflammation, foster cell repair and strengthen skin's elasticity.

Item: Skinfood Aloe BB cream Shade 1 (SPF 20)
Price: $10.00 mailed (retailed at $38!)
Condition: 50% left. more than worth your $!
An all in one skincare and makeup, this cream leaves your skin feeling moisturized while it corrects your skin tone. Your complexion looks more naturally airbrushed, clear and fresh! Rich with aloe, it excellently soothes skin and provides moisture


Item: The Face Shop Quick & Clean BB cream
Price: $10.00mailed (retailed at $26!)
Condition: 80% left. more than worth your $!
Formulated with our enhanced Quick n' Clear Complex and Malt extract, this oil-free protective moisturizer soothes the skin while providing natural coverage to hide flaws


Item: ELIZABETH ARDEN Lash Optimizer - Primer with Conditioners
Price:$5.00 mailed
Quantity: 4.5ml
This optimizes the look of lashes. Enhances the effect of your mascara so lashes look thicker and longer. Makes application smoother and easier. Makes mascara last longer. Makes lashes softer, healthier looking and more supple for less breakage.


Item: Elizabeth Arden Ceramide Lash Extending Treatment Mascara (Black)
Price: $5,00 mailed
Quantity: 3ml
This is infused with Ceramide Triple Complex and Keravis™ to help lengthen, define and revitalize lashes. Lashes are longer and fuller, giving eyes a younger, more vibrant look

NO TRADES!!! NEED CASH! THANK YOU! (:
PRICES ARE NOT NEGOTIABLE! Please do not quote me some ridiculously absurd low price! I've already stated the prices on the post! DO NOT HAGGLE!
AND PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE A COMMENT THEN NOT REPLY MY EMAILS! wasting both your time and mine!
THANKS! =)

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I've decided to post my own reviews for some of the BB creams that I own. Just for fun! (:
I just caved in and bought another BB cream recently! Although I said that I wouldn't buy anymore!

Here's what I bought:

BRTC Protect Multiplex Balm with SPF 20 for $50 from an online seller. Yay!
I have not tried it yet but I will when I'm going out later. Decided to give it a try because my friend bought the samples from Fr3b and said that it's very good for controlling oil! Yay!

She also got the Jasmin Water BB cream samples from Fr3b and said it's good too! Guess I'll give Fr3b samples a try first or if there's anyone selling it, feel free to sell to me!


There are so many BB creams out there with all pretty packaging and stuff! I just cannot resist getting more! But they're pretty expensive as well. Damn. I'll just stick with what I have for now. And there's definitely enough to last me for quite a while.

By the way, join Fr3b! It's an online sampling platform! Click the link below to be taken to the Fr3b website to sign up! www.fr3b.com/referral_program.php
( Click to see reviews! )

feedback page link: http://delirious-drey.livejournal.com/8143.html

Hi lovely people!!
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thank you!!! (: